Marriage or a million bucks?

2

Most random conversations over coffee eventually lead to relationship-talk, is what one has figured in 2007. Fashion designer, free lance writer, brother, aspiring model, senior editor, dear friend, anonymous critique... All conversations have eventually lead to talks about men-women, status quo, marriage, money and sometimes, love and sex. If one weren't talking, umpteen researches on everything from virginity to how your boss was affecting your sex life were constantly in the news. While 2007 proved to be the Year of the Sex Research, it was also a year of candid conversations. Marriage was still first on the priority list for many. One would love to say it's all about love is in the air. But is it? Even as Pinkiji dumped Sam and research declared that at least sex was all about lust and not love, a fun survey was....

Happy New Year 2008: World is coming to an end

7

Read Chapter 5: Catrina K's secret and Salma Hayek "They are saying the earth will enter a black hole and in a month. If it's true, I want to get married before that. You are a journalist, tell me the truth." It may well have been Mishraji who said those words, but it wasn't. (And Mishraji is already married) It was my friend Wordaminnit, who is male and eligible. He wanted to confirm if a TV channel's End-of-Earth report was true: That our beloved planet was spinning at 5,000 kmph towards a black hole - and nothing survives a black hole - thereby destroying all life in a month's time. He wanted to know because he wanted to get married before the world ended. Irrespective of the world coming to an end, marriage was still first on the priority list for many, given the conversation....

Catrina K's secret and Salma Hayek

3

Mrs Mishraji yelled, "Oh my god no, aji sunte ho!" at the top of her voice and it was an incident of international proportions that finally broke the silence in the Mishra household. No, it was not Sam (did one mention he is Catholic AND British?). Despite his spirited attempt on Xmas eve - when Pinkiji dumped him - the appearance of Sam had only thrown the Mishra family into deepening silence. Except of course for brief periods when Catrina Kohli appeared, which caused various Mishra family members to react in various ways. Mishraji would look at Catrina with speculative suspicion. Mrs Mishraji would instantly develop an expression that could mean either she had bitten her tongue hard or had eaten a fly. Pinkiji would become very self conscious and either her kurtas too were suddenly becoming tighter or one needed glasses. However, it was Tinkuji....

Meri Christmas ya teri...?

10

The atmosphere in the Kohli household - Canada-returned and celebrating Christmas - was quite jubilant and spirited. Since Mrs Kohli refused to buy a plastic Christmas tree "to save mother earth", the Kohli's they had decorated their rather healthy Money Plant (Devil's ivy, pothos) as a 'Christmas tree'. On the ground floor, at the Mishra's, things had been very silent since the day the condom had been discovered. Overnight Pinkiji had become a 'good girl'. Though she always had her tortured-with-love look, she was now very clean and seen wearing Indian outfits only. Somehow her father's silence seemed to have affected Pinkiji more strongly than his admonishing. No such empathy was evident on Tinkuji's part: His wallet had been confiscated and he had taken to singing Michael Jackson's "They don't really care about us" under his breath. Mishraji sulked on his verandah over numerous cups....

Have you enjoyed sex?

10

One had mentioned in an earlier post (Did Papa murder Rizwanur Rehman?) how one had been told categorically that if one were ever to present before Papa any such lad that he didn't approve of, he would not hesitate in pulling out either of his two guns (no, unlike certain parents, he never taught one how to use the devices). Thankfully, Papa never had to prove his words. Now Mishraji does not have a gun and uses rolled newspapers for causing physical harm. However, going by the expression he has been wearing lately - it's called murderous - one has no doubts about the senior gentleman's intentions. Pinkiji's boundaries seem to have been relaxed since the last time one wrote (for reasons why, read 'But I love Sam, Papaji!). She is now allowed to come out onto the verandah. However one suspects Pinkiji has....

Meet love's Enemy No. 1

11

The mood in the Mishra household has been somber for the last two days. For those who missed the earlier post, Mishraji's 19-year-old daughter - Pinki ji - declared she was in love with a 'Sam'. Now most would know that 'Sam' is a non-Hindu name unless you are US/UK-returned or are called 'Saminder'. Both those options don't appeal to Mishraji. Firstly, he would not expect his daughter to fall in love. And if at all she were to entertain 'such' ideas, he would prefer her emotions to be inclined towards some 'Shyam'. So the mood in the Mishra household has been somber for the last two days... at least till Mishraji leaves for work. Once he steps out of the house and one can hear his scooter turn the colony gate - he refuses to get his silencer fixed - two distinct noises can be heard from....

But I love Sam, Papaji!

9

The wedding season has been good for one. It kept Mishraji quiet busy and the patriarch could not find much time for our regular let's-bash-the-media (read me) sessions. But then, everything that has a beginning, has an end... The knock was a soft one and given that it was 11.30 pm, one was duly alarmed. A furtive, behind-the-curtains peep further upped the alarm levels. Miss Mishraji (aka Pinkiji) was standing at the front door, in her nightclothes. She had a pillow in one hand and a stuffed duffel bag in the other. Even as one opened the door and before one could say a word, Pinkiji blurted, "I have run away from home. I can't live there anymore. Please help me." Under normal circumstances, one would have gladly helped a damsel in distress. However, the idea of dealing with Mishraji - especially when his daughter had run....