Sivaji, The Boss. Of Crap

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'Pigs go in herds, the lion walks alone'

That's a rough and ready translation of something Rajnikanth spouts in and as Sivaji. He says it mid-way through the film, I squirm in my seat. My membership of the porcine club was signed and sealed Thursday night. I drove after work on a rainy, slushy day to catch a late night screening of the biggest film to come out of Chennai in three years - Sivaji, The Boss.

No more proof was needed. I was part of the herd. I had squelched my sensibilities, curbed my natural inclinations, disinclinations rather, and had caved in to peer pressure.

How could I not go. Everyone was going and conversations for some time to come would be referenced to Sivaji. I could be in or out. I chose to be safe rather than sorry. Discretion is the better part of valour.

The media hype also did its bit. I mean this was Tamil Nadu's biggest superstar, India's biggest, bigger than Bacchan they were saying. The most expensive Indian film to date, one of Tamil cinema's most successful directors at the helm, A R Rahman's music etc etc etc.

TV rights were sold for Rs 5 cr and Kalaignar TV that bought it will will need to wait THREE years before they can run it! When was the last time you heard that about a Hindi film? Even heartland Hindi news shows got their minds out of people's dark sides, showing an unusual interest in a 'Southern' sensation, all clamouring to articulate the Rajni phenomenon.

I remember Rajnikanth from some very forgettable Hindi films of the 80s. Well the news is that he is still there. Stuck in the 80s that is.

The plot, the story telling, the antics, are so camp and ludicrous that you can only wonder that anyone can be so brave. And so narcissistic (Note potshots at other Tamil stars). And self indulgent (over three hours and self mythifying comments). And crass (see innumerable scenes wooing heroine in the first half).

The dialogues which I couldn't understand, the only Tamil I know is - Chaddi pota ko - and with no subtitles for help - I missed the nuances, and there seemed to be some. Of course one way of looking at it is see the whole film as a joke. Some of my friends raved about how what I thought was Sivaji's absurdity was exactly what made it deserve outside its language market, a cult following. I am afraid I think we are desperate and clawing to find legends and myths.

Except for some quirky graphics and some stylish sequences - one song in particular that I am going to refer to as the GORA song - which was crazy, funky and sarcy, Sivaji was the boss. Of crap. And I am the pig. Who followed the herd.