Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of IPL fixing

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Why would an Indian cricketer who is assured of an income in the range of Rs 1 to 10 crore per annum, even when he doesn't wear national colours, choose to underperform? Nobody knows. The courts will take their time deciding if he and his friends in his IPL team were involved in spot fixing, but my clients don't have that luxury. Time is priceless in their business. Who are my clients? A set of bookies, the ones who have no role in the current spot fixing mess but want to make up for lost business. They don't know if the fixing bit actually happened, but if I can decode why multi-millionaire cricketers could be interested in tarnishing their hard-earned name and fame for a few lakhs of rupees, work will become easier for them. They could use the info to recruit 'fixers' - of both the....

Gandhigiri: Munna's experiments with truth

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(Shaheed Bhagat Singh Nagarpalika Puthaakalaya is Munna's favourite haunt. In times of trouble, this is where he takes refuge. He buries himself in books by Bapu and on Bapu for guidance and help. The guidance bit comes not from the books, but from Bapu himself. First the lights dim, then comes complete darkness, which later is illuminated by a halo, that of Bapu, who comes in a one-piece cloth and a lathi.) Munna is seated in the middle of a heap of books, Bapu takes the seat across the table. Munna: You are late today Bapu, I have been waiting for you. I need help, your advice. Bapu: Advice on what? What have you done that troubles you so much? Munna: It's something I did 20 years ago. Long before I discovered you and your message of ahimsa. I kept an AK-56 for my safety. Now....

Kerala minister in sex scandal: a detective's diary

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DECEMBER 17 6.00 am Shocking news from Delhi. A young woman is raped by four and left to die. It happened on a chartered bus. Hard to digest it could happen in the Capital. Will call chechi first thing. 8.00 am Called chechi. Told her to avoid chartered buses. 8.20 am Got a call. The caller wanted to know how a perfect murder can be executed. Told him I am not an assassin, only a detective. 8.25 am The same caller again, changes tack. Wants to know if I can destroy evidence if he commits the murder. Said no. 7.00 pm Not a productive day. Lost some money in the markets. Need to look for better gambling dens. DECEMBER 18 1.00 pm Woke up late. A big hangover. Newspapers picked by neighbour. Watch news....

Daasan Kapital and Chidambaram's budget

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The best of political debates in Kerala, and perhaps India, happen not in television studios or our legislature, but in Karunan's barber shop and Kuttan's chayakkada (tea shop). And there is a reason for that, rather many reasons. Karunan, Kuttan and their customers are avid readers of Junglistan blogs, most of them written in that rare moment of hallucinatory exuberance shedding new gyaan on any issue under the sun and moon. Two, 92% per cent of them are literate- they can read and write. Three, Kuttan feeds his clients a diet enlivened and enriched by some 20 newspapers from Deshabhimani to Panchajanya, from Manorama to Mathrubhumi, and television channels of all hues and shades. A menu that caters to all - Left, Centre and Right. Wednesday began with Comrade Naanappan lighting a candle in memory of Venezuelan president, or was he a dictator, Hugo Chavez. He prodded others in....

#Suryanelli Trends on Junglebook

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A rape that happened 17 years ago has animals of Junglistan up in arms. #Suryanelli is today the most trending topic. @ChikkuTheCricket Can someone tell me? Did he do it? #Suryanelli @Mayilamma Did who do what? RT Can someone tell me? Did he do it? #Suryanelli @ChikkuTheCricket Suspense killing me. Please someone tell me. Did he do it? #Suryanelli @DubaDubathecrocodile @ChikkuTheCricket I know the answer. Aaati kya Khandala? #Suryanelli @ThathammaTheParrot I doubt. He had many options to choose from. Could have got the Miss Junglistan if he wanted #Suryanelli @BigBrother I am watching you. This is libel. You will be booked under Section 66 #Suryanelli @AchuTortoiseKunhiraman, Leader of Oppn Order a probe. Let Justice Prevail #Suryanelli @ParappanangadiPappan Achu is jealous of anyone who has sex. Give him old age pension #Suryanelli @ParappanangadiPappan Have you seen the guest house - the....

Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of Afzal hanging

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I looked at the envelope carefully. It's a habit I formed after a parcel bomb attack a couple of years ago. The packet that time was meant for someone else, and I had unwittingly become a victim of terror and mistaken identity. The mail I had in my hands had come through Speedpost, the seal on the postage stamp suggested it came from Srinagar. The address of the sender I am sure is fake, but the currency notes inside are genuine. An advance of 10,000 rupees and a promise of 5 lakh more if I were to crack the case. It advised me to read the newspapers to get the details of the case. One Mr Afzal Guru, convicted in the 2001 Parliament attack case, had been hanged to death on February 9, 2013. The question before me: Why was he hanged? Most of the cases I have....

Free speech zones in Junglistan

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Mallan's bar was relatively quiet. The junglistan liquor baron had fallen on really bad times. He had made several bad investments, and now he was paying the price. A few months ago, he was told to make his choice. What does he want to keep, wine or women? Mallan is yet to answer that one. All it means is things aren't quite the same at the bar. It just got messier with the new unwritten law added to the Junglistan Constitution: the right to take offence. Citizens of the jungle republic are yet to know if it is a fundamental right or a fundamental duty. Do they have the right to take offence or are they duty-bound to take offence? "This new rule will be historic," said Kittunni vakil, sipping his single malt, "Never before has a democracy experimented so much with free speech." "But....

Mango man in Junglistan

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"Two vadas please." "A coffee here." "Why is the pazham pori getting late." "I only have two hands," Ittooppu snapped. The goat was busy, being the official food supplier for the first live, face-to-face debate Junglistan was to see. The programme was inspired by the series of debates between Presidential candidates in Amrika. Initially the Junglistan politicians were unwilling to join the tamasha, but promise of sponsorship money won them over. The sets were similar to the ones in Amrika, sofas on a stage large enough to allow free movement of the participants. The format even more engaging and exciting - there was to be no moderation of the debate. The participants took their seats one by one. Castro Aravindan -- a wannabe revolutionary, a wannabe minister, a wannabe clean-up man, a wannabe Julian Assange - took the seat first. The monkey, the voice of the....

Thilakan, the artist among actors

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'Losing Thilakan is like losing someone in family.' The tribute paid a by a fan on twitter couldn't have been better expressed. Malayalam has seen Thilakan in all shades - the doting father, the disciplinarian father, the jealous father, the father who raped his step-daughter, the womanizer, the underworld don, the scary villain, the comic villain, the grandfather, the comic hero, the uncle, the historic figure, the Christian priest, the pujari, the maulvi... For Thilakan, no character was impossible or taboo. Malayalam saw him in all shades but one: that of a tree-hopping young lover. Maybe Malayalam realized his greatness a tad too late or did our filmmakers think bald men were incapable of falling in love? What would a father feel when he sees his son, who he dreamt of making a police officer, who is just one interview away from realizing his ambition, wield....

With apologies to Junglistan PM

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It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon but Kallu Vasu's bar is already bustling. In fact, no hour is lean hour for Vasu. The bar opens at 10 in the morning, and there is never a dull moment till it closes. People on their way to office, government servants out for lunch, students bunking class, all make an entry for a quickie - a quarter finished in two gulps, ably accompanied by a pinch of achaar. Junglistan's drinking habits have earned it notoriety the world over, and are now a worry not just for Gandhians but also for all kind of activists, of late police activists and judicial activists. One police officer subjected people at railway stations to alcohol tests and stopped those who tested positive from boarding trains. All trains went empty that day. It took a fax from the railway minister to restore order. And recently a court....