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Rajesh Kumar
Sunday , March 09, 2014

Will Jasoos Narayanan Kutty's book be pulped?

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I always wanted to write a book. Yes, my adventures will be chronicled by Saramma, my efficient secretary and conscience keeper. She is to me what Watson was to Sherlock Holmes. But the book I write, I am particular, must appeal to the inner depths of human mind. What does that mean, you might ask. To be honest, I don't know. What I write must be one of the kind, never attempted before, never to be tried again by anyone. It should be truly path-breaking. A project of this magnitude -- by the time I finish it, I am sure it will create ripples that measure 8 on the Richter scale -- requires a lot of preparation. I have read hundreds and hundreds of books spanning philosophy, sociology, physiology, chemistry, literature, psychology, not knowing where I will get that one spark of inspiration which will ignite a new....

Friday , February 21, 2014

1983 and our love affair with cricket

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There is something about cricket that makes it a more egalitarian sport than football. If football is paalada prathaman, cricket is ari paayasam, anyone can make it. You can play cricket at any age, and that too reasonably well. Football is different. It exacts a toll on your body. One and a half hours of constant dribbling and running is what only professionals can do. You will follow the English Premier League and the Spanish League without missing a single match but you may not be playing football every day. On the other hand, many of us have stopped following cricket matches, thanks to the IPL overkill, but still turn up every Sunday to play tennis ball cricket. Our affair with cricket that started with a World Cup win, is still going strong. And 1983, a new Malayalam movie, tells that story. Nivin Pauly plays the....

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Jasoos Narayanan Kutty finds a new RaGa

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"Kutty, a man has come to meet you, looks very tense, and seems to be in need of urgent help," announced Saramma, "Should I send him in?" Saramma is my new secretary. Her name actually is Sarasu, but I have always wanted my muse to be Saramma, the heroine in Vaikom Muhammed Bashir's'Love Letter'. During the interview, she impressed me with her quick wit and surprising lack of interest in politics. I gave her the job on one condition: She will be to Narayanan Kutty what Saramma was to Keshavan Kutty. Sorry, I am digressing, I will tell you more about my secretary some other time. "Saramma, I am very busy. Unless it is urgent, tell him to come back later." "Kutty, the guy looks promising. He is in his forties, but has a boyish charm. He is in jeans and a hippie t-shirt but has a....

Sunday , January 12, 2014

Why Detective Kutty will vote for AAP

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These are good days for the aam aadmi. I have been hired by some big MNCs, a few political parties in India and several spy agencies with special interest in our country. All of them want to know why people are voting for the Aam Aadmi Party and who I will vote for. As a first step I got one of my sources to get me a copy of Arvind Kejriwal's diary. I hoped it would tell me his election strategy but it just listed his engagements for the day. No luck there. One of the old theories of crime detection is, you would know if you watch Sherlock and other crime series, put yourself in the subject's position. So I wore a muffler, wrapped it around my head, and put an AAP cap on top of it. Then I took a metro to....

Saturday , December 28, 2013

The return of Mohanlal

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A few years ago I asked a colleague her opinion about a particular movie. She thought for a while and said, "It had some 100 jump cuts, some 25 factual inaccuracies..." Ok. Now when I go to watch a movie, I don't go with a notepad and pencil. Not for me the finer points of film-making. I hardly review films, I am not the man for the job. So when I write this piece about Jeethu Joseph's Malayalam movie Drishyam, I won't dissect the film to give you incisive insights: first, because that would be missing the mountain for the molehill; second, because I am a quack, impersonating Masand. I don't even know how long Drishyam is. One hour, 2 hours... What I know is the film flew by me, never a dull moment, never a drag. I can safely assume it was....

Sunday , November 03, 2013

Jasoos Narayanan Kutty's tips for Modi and Rahul

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By now, you all know me. I am Jasoos Narayanan Kutty. It's my habit to give unsolicited advice, especially when I am vela. At such times I watch television and update myself with news that is breaking 12 hours a day, from around 10 am to 10 pm. These days it means Modi breaking news or Rahul breaking news and Kejriwal wanting to break some news, but the media not allowing him. So we have two contenders for 2014, and many pretenders. When I watch cricket, I watch it as a lover of the game. I want the best team to win. It's the same with politics. I want a good, exciting, nail-biting finish to the Modi-Rahul match. Keeping this in mind, I am giving a few tips to the two, they may or may not act on them. Tip No. 1 The Lok Sabha elections....

Thursday , October 10, 2013

My Sachin moment, and 8 myths about Tendulkar

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The year was 1989. A 16-year-old was making his Test debut in Karachi against the fearsome pace attack of Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis. I and my friends had heard of the batting wizard from Mumbai. The entire nation was looking forward to the match. The hype was such. I, however, had a problem. An exam the very next day. But I was lucky. One, there was a television at home, so I didn't have to go to the neighbour's to watch TV. Two, The television was a safe distance away from the kitchen, in a room in the farthest corner of the house. So that is how I saw Sachin for the first time -- television on mute. But a power cut meant I couldn't see him getting hit by a Waqar bouncer. Instead I got to see him bat with a band aid on his nose,....

Monday , October 07, 2013


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The alarm clock rang at 5 o' clock in the morning. These days it is more punctual than the neighbour's cock, who had been the time keeper for Unni's village for years. Age seems to be catching up with Poovalan. Maybe he is enjoying his retirement days like grandpa. The good morning cock-ara-kkoo siren now is sounded well past 7.00 am. Why did man invent clock? Couldn't he have left time alone? Unni ignored the alarm and turned over. "Wake up." Good things, like sleep, don't last long. In Unni's case, not beyond 5 am. Children should wake up early in the morning to study. 'Mind is fresh at that hour, free of everything. This is the time you will see algebra, physics and chemistry are human after all. Easily tamed.' Unni's amma had told and retold the formula a million times.....

Monday , September 30, 2013

Detective Kutty makes sense of Rahul's 'nonsense'

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To Detective Narayanan Kutty Pin Code: 110001 Dear Mr Kutty, We, the residents of Arabian Nights MIG colony in Kochi, and more importantly voters of India, find statecraft beyond our comprehension. The last few days we have been wondering what made Rahul Gandhi call some ordinance a non-sense even though his own government had issued it. As we are expected to cast our votes in the Lok Sabha elections, and we are supposed to make an informed decision, we would like to know the true import of what he said, why he said, how he said, where he said. Please make sense of Rahulji's 'nonsense' statement for us. We are enclosing a cheque of Rs ***** with this letter. Regards Secy Arabian Nights MIG Colony RWA I have left the remuneration blank fearing taxmen, yes there are certain things even Detective Kutty is scared....

Tuesday , September 24, 2013

Should Muslim girls below 18 be allowed to marry? Detective Kutty investigates

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If you are a woman in India, there are quite a few things you need to do to get married, legally married. The most important bit is you must attain the age of 18. This applies to all religions and castes. But it could all change. Many progressively liberal Muslim organizations in Kerala, which includes the Muslim League, are now planning to move the Supreme Court challenging the age bar. Their contention: The Muslim law doesn't mention any age for marriage. Hence this '18-before-you-marry' is a violation of the Muslim personal law. Why this? Why now? The file came to me this morning, with a terse note pasted on it. "For Mr Kutty's eyes only." I am supposed to give my views asap. Now this is pretty much an open-and-shut case. No detailed preparations this time. 1) Muslim League hopes this issue will....


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