The Kocchi-coo of cricket

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When today will be yesterday, this will be our Twitterchalisa. Once upon a time in a land wow-wowed as Youngistan, there lived a saint. Saint, because he had seven lakh followers in his kingdom called Twitterdom. He spoke a different language called Tweet! He Sashayed Through (did someone hear Shashi Tharoor?) his tweets with holy cows and cattle class. His tweets were sweet to his followers but gave swe(a)t to others. He was strangely handsome for his age, more strangely accented and most strangely was never politically correct. He was the face of easy activism for the young and the issueless (market killed the restless). On every issue and every problem, his tweets were eagerly awaited. His followers increased. Clean in his actions and clear in his thoughts. Clean and clear or should we say fair and handsome. He assumed he was a saint, revered in the kingdom....

The stone age of Maya

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A jungle, somewhere in Uttar Pradesh. A crow and a dove in deep gastro-intestinal conversation. Dove- Hey, heard the news. Very soon we'll be having more heads to s***on. Crow:(with verbal anti-peristaltic movement)... ssshh... language my dear, language... Firstly, you should not be calling me by this name. Don't you know that a few rich kids are being thrashed in Australia and our human brothers have taken a high moral ground on racism? We Indians are up against this racist attack. We are posturing ourselves as an anti-racist race. So be careful before you address me as 'blackie'. And as for the second part of your query, yes, I've heard the news-More Heads to s*** on. Dove: This govt. in Uttar Pradesh is taking good care of our defecating exercise. New statues will spring up... just imagine new faces to explore and deface... new heads to crap....

Trespassers in death!!

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Eavesdropping into a conversation... "Jack n Jill Went up the hill To Fetch a Pail Of Water Jack Fell Down and broke His Crown... But Jill, where's Jill? Oh! Jill never came tumbling down," exclaimed a journalist high on Vodka but low on his spirits to one of his friends in his sarcastic state of stupor. His equally sozzled up friend who was also a cop replied, "but you've made a Shakespearean tragedy out of a nursery rhyme. After all Jill did come and that too tumbling down. Why are you making a mess of it? Bereaving a simple nursery rhyme of its simplicity." Now was the time for my journalist to hit back. "Why, if you can make Sherlock Holmes and Feluda turn in their graves by your Noida murder investigation, If you can make a mortal reporter like me into an immortal Mr.....

G for Gandhi…H for Hungama!!!

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First things first. I'm a news anchor and therefore cannot absolve myself of the visual mimicry. I am a significant part of this on-air buffoonery. And now for the confession. I'm a normal human being and therefore subject to torment when I switch on my TV. And like any other normal human being I sleep and have dreams too. One day I had a dream... and I didn't need a Sigmeund Freud to interpret them. It was straight and blunt. Ghulam Ali came and threatened to..... Ghulam Ali:-I will sue you Me:Why sir...I've been a... Ghulam Ali: yeah I know...a great fan of my gazals...but you have taken over my Hungama... Me:taken over Hungama...what exactly is that Mr. Ali.. Ghulam Ali:Shut up! Don't pretend, you've taken over Hungama... Me:Yeah.. i mean I do listen to it.. and often sing it...my wife....

The Fair(y) Tale Of Cricket

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Ah! The Glorious Uncertainties Of Cricket...Chetan Sharma smacked for 6 by one Miandad taking poor Chetan into the pages of inglorious records; Allan Donald perhaps too mesmerized by Klusener's 'straight ' bat push, forgot his Karmic Dharma of crossing the 22 yard to earn a run, depriving South Africa a place in the finals and immortalizing Steve Waugh's remarks to Gibbs-'You've drop the world cup mate'...or Apna Bangla Bandhu torpedoing The 'Blue Billions'.. 'The Glorious Uncertainties of Cricket'- an expression to rationalize when the 'minnows' win and the men-who-know loose. But I came to know of it quiet late in my life..In fact I didn't felt the need to ever Rationalize my defeats...Let me narrate to you a childhood practice of mine...I don't practice it now (( I cannot afford to)) but remember it every time when the word cricket comes in...So come with me and unleash your imaginative....