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Ayushman Jamwal
Sunday , September 23, 2012 at 15 : 37

An Honest Soliloquy


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They say I am powerful,

They say I am eloquent,

They say I am wealthy.

Yet I am feeble,

I do not believe,

I am surrounded by the mute, the inanimate,

For I am made of baser things.

They chant my name in houses of power,

They tell this nation I can save them,

But I cannot stand tall on their abject principles,

I am a bitter paymaster,

For I am made of baser things.

I have poached on apathy,

Nourished myself with contempt and despair,

As I peer into the twilight of my years,

I am unworthy of the benevolence of redemption,

For I am made of baser things.

I cannot stand tall with the selfless,

I cannot share their company,

I cannot be an architect of dreams,

I will only be a fleeting memory,

For I am made of baser things.

In this palace I sit alone,

I fade as my stained glory enjoys its immortality,

A constant reminder of a sordid legacy,

For I am made of baser things.

Could conviction have saved me from bitterness?

Could a coat of dreams have given me life?

Towards the edge I have inherited only doubt,

For I am made of baser things.

My enemy sleeps peacefully in the cold outside,

Blanketed by the warmth of his belief,

His life is sustained by a million payers,

His dreams painted by their hopes.

What is he made of, I do not know,

For I am made of baser things.

I shall perish in this ivory shell,

As they curse my name outside,

Its too late to calculate another fate,

For I am made of baser things.

Let them sing the songs of change,

Let them persevere for something special,

I am not meant to live in their world,

For I am made of baser things.

There will be no gazes at my tomb,

No honest, even a fleeting remembrance,

I will crumble in the shadow of history.

For I am made of baser things.


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Ayushman Jamwal works on the foreign desk at CNN-IBN.

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