That numb feeling

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So here we are, marking the first anniversary of 26/11 strikes in Mumbai. I still vividly remember that Wednesday evening when mayhem struck the country. I was finishing off with the ten o' clock debate show when news first came in of gunshots having been heard in Colaba. My first response like that of several others, gangwar. Something that Mumbai has always been infamous for. Within ten to fifteen minutes, reporters in Mumbai started calling in with reports of gunfire being exchanged at other spots as well. One reporter mentioned Mumbai VT, (I always call it VT despite that famous landmark being renamed as CST) had been attacked by terrorists. That's when the gravity of the situation struck me. Mumbai had been targetted several times earlier, bomb blasts in market places, Gateway of India, trains, buses, taxis, all attacks in which the ordinary suburban Mumbaikar suffered. This was different!

Look at the places that were attacked by a bunch of young misguided fools pretending to be the Allah's warriors. Taj Hotel, Oberoi Towers, Cafe Leopold! All places which are frequented by the rich and the privileged. The Chabad House where Israelis come with their backpacks for a long haul was targetted because Israelis for the terrorists are kaafirs. But how do you explain the attack at VT killing over 60 unknown people, the maverick gunfire outside the Metro cinema?

As I sat through that night in the studio, getting more and more shocked by the hour, my mind was constantly taking me back to my student days. In the two years that I spent in Mumbai, the places now being targetted by the terrorists were places which used to be my favourite as well. A beer at Leopold, the occasional coffee at the Taj coffee shop, a walk from St Xavier's College to Marine Drive going via the Metro Cinema, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing in front of me.

Over the next two days, as TV coverage swung from brilliant to bizarre, as we watched the hostage drama play out live on our TV screens, it was almost as if the terrorists had numbed us as a nation. A numbness which is yet to completely go.

Look at what we have done in the year that has passed. While last year, through candlelight vigils and SMS campaigns, people across the country were expressing their outrage with the political class, this year for multiple reasons we see that the same government has been re-elected both at the Centre and in Maharashtra.

So first question, do we really care about our security? Do we still not live in that cocoon where a terror strike victim can always be a neighbour but not us ? I have been given all kinds of theories in the last few months about the electoral verdicts delivered. One of the more prominent ones, is that it's a vote for stability.

Now I am not trying to build a case for the BJP here, but what explains the fact that from 2004-2008, not a month passed when some major city or the other was not attacked by terrorists! Hyderabad, Varanasi, Lucknow, Bangalore, Mumbai repeatedly, Delhi, Jaipur, almost all major cities were on the terrorists radar.

The man who was in charge of the country's internal security during these years, then home minister Shivraj Patil was sacked following the Mumbai strikes. But is that enough? The other two men who were in charge of Mumbai when the strike happened, then chief minister Vilasrao Deshmukh is a Union minister and then state home Minister RR Patil has got his job back after being booted out. (Remember his famous SRK line after the strikes, Bade bade shehron mein aisi ghatnayen hoti rehti hain).

It explains just how short-lived our memory is and just how much our politicians take us for granted. I remember Milind Deora, the young south Mumbai MP, appearing on our channel then and saying sorry to the people of Mumbai! What do we make out of his apology now?

The second question, are we any safe now as a society and as a country? National Security Advisor MK Narayanan says he dreads the prospect of waking up every morning and seeing an attack similar to the Mumbai strikes. While Home Minister P Chidambaram must be given credit for sprucing up the intelligence-gathering apparatus in the country, the fiasco over the David Headley episode proves that we still have a lot to do. If it's so easy and simple for an individual with suspected terror links to be moving in and out of India, it implies that we still need to work on our approach of dealing with terror.

And finally, what about the media? What lessons have we learnt from that strike? We came in for much criticism for showing live visuals of the entire commando operation. There was some merit in that criticism but what people often don't talk about is why was the media allowed to do that?

Why was it difficult for cops to simply bar the reporters, cameramen and OB vans from parking themselves so close to the spots? I remember reporters lying down flat on the ground near the Gateway of India in front of the Taj as if they were reporting from Kashmir or the Indo-Pak border. Were any questions raised on why the MARCOS commandos were busy doing media briefings on how well they had performed to flush out the terrorists? Was there not a war on for claiming credit for dealing with the situation between the NSG, the cops and MARCOS.

For me, though the most horrendous example of our apathy towards our own security and security men was the BEST bus which was pressed into service for taking all the commandos who had been involved in a 48-hour operation at the Taj. The least the authorities could have done was to organise better-equipped vehicles. Vilasrao Deshmukh didn't forget to bring his son and filmmaker Ram Gopal Verma to the Taj but he did forget to do such a simple thing.

As a journalist, the 26/11 Mumbai strikes was the biggest news story to report on. As a human being and an Indian citizen it was the most shocking experience which I hope we don't go through ever again.