It's all relative, beta Varun

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It's all relative, beta Varun

I am a younger child so I know. My elder sister was always having to pull me back from the brink of doing something outrageous, constantly aware that my next escapade would be even more so. It's a younger child thing.

Younger kids get less of their parent's attention: they come into the world with the odds of competing exactly double that of their elder siblings. And face about half of their parents resolve' in disciplining them too. They learn quickly that they need to scream louder to be heard, but they can also get away with a lot more as a result- and lets face it, more often than not, they are cuter.

A few years ago, I would use the simile to explain Pakistan's problem with India when it cried foul over Bush's announcement of the Indo-US nuclear deal. I travelled to Islamabad just ahead of Bush's flight from New Delhi and was constantly asked by officials and others there, even President Musharraf in an interview: if India could have the nuclear deal, why couldn't Pakistan? I tried to clear my throat, politely point them towards the blithe Dr Khan who had been playing swip-swap with Pakistan's nuclear nursery; shipping off parts to other younger children like North Korea and Iran. And also all those other street boys: the al-Qaeda-Taliban gang that they were hanging out with made it a bit problematic for anyone to give them the same things that the relatively responsible India, with its spotlessly white shirt and polished shoes was getting.

And why only countries? Big leaders have often found themselves tripped up by their own younger flesh and blood. Rajiv Gandhi, in the days before he entered politics was known to be pained by younger brother Sanjay's 'Emergency' shenanigans, Former J&K Chief Minister Farooq Abdullah's younger Tariq was his most vocal critic, often stopping journalists on the road to vent his anger against his brother before his tragic death some time ago. Barack Obama's kid step-brother was busted for drugs in Kenya last month--the US President recalls his single meeting with George as a "painful affair"in his book Dreams from my Father. And yeah, even The Dalai Lama's rebellious younger brother Tendzin Choegyal speaks openly of his struggles with drugs and alcohol in Dharamshala, and his rather rash statement last year on "terror being an effective weapon" for the Tibetan movement, certainly must have appalled His Holiness.

So I want to tell Varun Gandhi, you've got company. That when you open your mouth to utter the most diabolical stuff ever spoken at an election rally, and use more communally charged language than has ever been heard in public - it's probably your way of getting attention. A sound smack at a young age may have stopped you from talking openly about cutting off people's necks and chopping off their hands. It's the kind of typical younger child insolence that led your indulgent aunties and uncles, like the BJP leader on our channel last night to tell journalists to give him a break, he is a "young and upcoming boy."

But let's grow up now, beta Varun, and smell that coffee, even drink some if it clears your head. This is a parliamentary election- those speeches of yours have been heard by a shocked nation, and not even your own party knows where to look now. Your best would be to either prove that those CDs you say were doctored are indeed so; or apologise, and go into retreat or meditation, and reflect a little.

I know dear reader, you think I am stretching it a bit. Varun isn't exactly Rahul Gandhi's younger sibling you say? Nor have they been brought up together. Also, what about all the verbal blunders Rahul has committed- from taking family credit for the creation of Bangladesh, to the Babri Masjid fiasco, to his wanderings through Amethi's Dalit bastis with the drop-a-bombshell-a-minute- David-Milliband?

It's all relative you know. As my own sister learnt the hard way!