"It's often been said, the most beautiful things in the universe are the starry heavens above us and the feeling of duty within us." As he raised a toast to Indo-US friendship at the White House banquet with those words - slightly, ever so slightly, the US President's shoulders seemed to droop.

The night was perfect, despite the rainy day that preceded it, and forced him to cancel the grand ceremonial welcome he had planned for his first state guest Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. There was a galaxy of stars from the Indian-American community, a sprinkle of stardust from Hollywood, food, arrangements, music...all planned to the last detail. Obama quoted Nehru, Singh quoted Lincoln, and the evening was complete, except it lacked one thing. The US President's full attention.

For weeks before the big visit - an AfPak-shaped distraction has been big on everyone's mind in Washington, with a countdown to Obama's announcement of his AfPak policy expected finally this Tuesday. This has been the worst year since 2001 in terms of coalition casualties (412 soldiers killed by October 2009) there, the country is recovering from an exhausting 3-month long election that has only strained its resources without drastically improving its prospects, the Taliban now has a 'permanent presence' in 72% of Afghanistan, the coalition had a disastrous campaign in Helmand this summer, and the US General in charge of the war there is warning things will only get worse if coalition forces aren't increased by at least 50% (50,000 troops - Obama is expected to send about 40,000 more and ask for 10,000 from the coalition forces for Gen McChrystal's demand).

The desperation is showing as some American quarters talk once again about reconciling with the Taliban, a move former State Dept adviser Ashley Tellis calls a "deceptively beguiling strategy for pacifying Afghanistan...one that is doomed to fail presently." (Towards an alternative grand strategy in Afghanistan, Ashley J. Tellis Nov. 2009). And far from pushing back the Taliban, war on terror partner Pakistan is providing even more and more safe havens. "Today, al-Qaeda's top leadership is most likely based in Pakistan, along with top Taliban leaders, both Afghan and Pakistani," concludes Daniel Markey in a paper for the Council for Foreign Relations "From AfPak to PakAf: A Response to the New U.S. Strategy for South Asia," making the case that Obama mustn't shy from following the US war on terror across the Durand line.

Former CNN-IBNer Dhruva Jaishankar warns that not just in Afghanistan, in other countries like Japan too, Obama is trying to please too many people, and risks pleasing no one at all. Between the recession, pushing healthcare reform, and preparing for his big AfPak announcement - Obama's drooping shoulders were more than a metaphor for the burdens he carries.

Ahead of Manmohan Singh's visit the preoccupation got to a funny point: at briefings to the press, US officials would speak about counter-terror cooperation being key to talks - and mean Afghanistan, while Indian officials, clearly thought it meant Messrs Headley and Rana. Eventually, despite an intervention by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh himself for access for Indian agencies to the Lashkar duo, President Obama couldn't oblige. He did, however, agree to sending an FBI team here with details of what they have learnt.

In fact, the US seemed to have a hard time focusing on other issues at hand during the PM's 4-day visit too - the reprocessing agreement, hanging fire for months, was told to hang on some more. On climate change, neither side got the assurances they were looking for. And India failed to get a specific US commitment on high tech trade and dual use technology transfers.

Should we then, as some have already done, consider the trip a write-off, or call it nothing more than a joyride to Washington with a photo-op and a dinner thrown in? That would be both premature, as well as missing all the signs that went out that November day from the White House. Signs that in a world of troubled friendships the US is juggling at present, and Obama is openly struggling with - from Pakistan and Afghanistan to China, Japan, Russia, and France....India is seen as a bright spot. A trusted friend that doesn't bring tension with it. A friend, to paraphrase the US president, to watch the 'starry heavens' with, even as you worry about the 'duty' of the battles that lie ahead.

It was a simple message that trickled in from the Tricolour lining the US capital's main streets to the feature column inches devoted to India in the papers and hours on prime-time Tv, to the Indian touch in every detail of the visit including Michelle Obama's evening gown.

And as the band at the banquet played to AR Rahman's tune of Jai Ho that night, the polite thing to say would be , "Thank you for the dance, Mr. President, next time may we have your attention please?"