The flipsides of Facebook

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Let me begin with a confession here - I am a social network junkie. My love affair with social networks started with Orkut way back in 2005 which I dumped in favour of Facebook two years later. I have been quite active on Mark Zuckerberg (co-founder of Facebook)'s creation since then.

I am certain that I was one of the first thousand users of Twitter and I also have accounts on Google+, Foursquare, Tumblr, LinkedIn, Foodspotting etc. (somehow I could never get myself to like MySpace) Thanks to iPhones and iPads, I manage to stay alive on all of these.

I completely understand that social networks mean different things to different people and the way I use them may not be the manner in which another individual shall. The following were MY purposes of signing on to them:

Facebook

Reconnect with old friends

Keep in touch with friends and family in today's hectic life

Have a rough idea of what is going on in the lives of people I care for if for some reason I am unable to speak with them in a while (which happens quite often with me)

Twitter

Get first-hand opinion of people who matter rather than read a distorted version of the same in the news

Stay abreast with latest developments (extremely important in my line of work)

LinkedIn

Build my professional network and connect with individuals who have similar career goals

Saving the rest for another day, we talk about the biggest of them all today - Facebook. Such has been the impact of Facebook on society that I can bet it shall be a part of history text books taught in schools in 2020 and beyond. It is not merely a Website, it is a global phenomenon.

Readers would recall the role Facebook (along with Twitter) played during the Arab Spring last year. This, in my humble opinion, was the good effect of Facebook. There are many other positives in addition to the above.

However the Website has flipsides as well which have irritated the living crap out of me. I list a few below. Let me clarify one thing before I proceed further. I have 350 odd 'friends' on my Facebook profile but most of them are not my friends as per the dictionary definition of the word.

They include ex-colleagues, classmates whom I have not seen in the last 11-16 years, a few competitive blokes who were more like enemies at school, college or my previous job, many random people who sent me 'friend requests' after one meeting at a wedding or other social gatherings, distant relatives, old neighbours etc. Why did I accept their requests? - For the very reason social networks exist i.e. to be social. I admit that I was naïve.

1. Show-off: Facebook profiles have become pseudo identities of individuals who are leaving no stone unturned to build and maintain a 'cool image' in front of their 'friends' on Facebook. I could tolerate people who were the biggest bores on Earth uploading pictures of themselves 'having fun' or one posting pictures of their new watches, cars, Louis Vuitton bags etc.

Even status messages like 'Meetings, meetings and meetings.....am so busy!!!' or 'Had 27 missed calls and 5 text messages on my mobile on my birthday....shall return them soon' could be digested. However since the time Facebook has introduced the 'Check-In' button that allows one to post his/her current location on their Wall, all hell has broken loose.

Sample a few (compiled after a discussion with friends on this topic over the weekend):

One of my friends knows a guy who is so desperate to be seen as hip and happening that he goes outside high-end pubs and lounge bars and does a Facebook check-in! I hope that person gets some help soon. In another case, a couple whose marriage is on the rocks wrote sonnets in each other's praises on their Facebook Walls on their wedding anniversary. The underlying idea was to project a happy marriage to the world.

2. Too much information: Thanks to this 'Check-in' feature, I see people checking in everywhere from an optician's shop to Pitampura Metro Station to their bathrooms (I am not kidding)! It is almost as if they feel that they are in Bigg Boss's house and the world is interested in every little movement of theirs all the time.

Then there are a few who have the art of creating an entire photo album from a meal at a neighbourhood McDonalds to a swim in their own condominium. Hats off to their energy and enthusiasm!

A colleague's brother's ex-wife used to bitch about her in-laws through her Facebook status updates. An ex-classmate from my engineering course informs the whole world what he has for dinner every night.

All this might not be a big deal for many but spare me the horror.

3. Stalking: I am sure most of the readers would have experienced 'Facebook stalking' at some point. I remember an incident in which I met an ex-colleague after a gap of two years and she had complete dope on my life from the pictures in which I was tagged by various people. What's more scary, she even knew the name and bio-data of the girl my brother was dating as they were also in one of those pictures!

Similarly, I had a weirdo in my MBA days who remembered the T-shirts I wore on various vacations and reminded me of the same when I wore them to lectures.

For some inexplicable reason, there are many who are always more interested in other people's lives than their own. Fortunately for them, Facebook provides an ideal platform to stalk their acquaintances. I know people who have stopped posting pictures of their new born babies, new house on Facebook for this very reason.

In conclusion, Facebook has definitely altered the behavioural pattern of individuals and social scientists would find this an interesting topic of research. Showing-off, sharing every little detail of one's life and cyber-stalking others are some of the negative manifestations of this change in behaviour.

Meanwhile, I have neatly organized my 'friends' on Facebook into various lists and groups (inspired by the 'Circles' feature of Google+) and am back to enjoying social networking again.