Spitsville!:-(Series of " Letters to Shabbo:-The survival guide to Mumbai")

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Dear Shabbo,

Mumbai is a nice city. Fast life..that they usually say it is. But there is something that I have noticed..unsuspecting about your surroundings... now that is one state of being, you cannot be, in a city like Mumbai. So be it sunshine or rain, you have to be aware of where you are and what is happening around you, lest you want to be in the warring path of a whoosh of betel paan spit! Yes shabbo darling, the tradition of spitting with abandon, I guess, travelled successfully to various generations and has become part of the Indian pschye. So you'll say what's the big deal about some spitting, it has become part of our collective culture of what city life is...or for that matter what life in India is all about...a little bit of drool!! And if its tinged with some gutka or some benarasi paan then its a red slobber!! But what if that red tinged slobber finds way onto your pristine white shirt as you wrangle your way out of Mumbai's traffic...well you do, what my very well built friend did..she promptly hauled up the guy and asked him to pay Rs 50, dry cleaning charges..fair's fair after all. Don't worry, shabs, I will not be fighting the united spitting association of Mumbai, but I've often wondered what if you are not that well built, what do you do then, shabbo? Well I guess all you can do is to mutter under your breath, scream a little, till the guy turns around and looks into your eyes and says with some misguided pride, "Ki aap ka road hain kya? What goes of your fathers?" Well, with some well chosen, but rarely uttered swear words, you move ahead. Ignorance maybe bliss, but really its also very icky!!

There is yet another revelation I have to make, shabs..as you can see this mail is just about the horrible habit that I have enecountered in all the gallis and nukkads of Mumbai I have yet to find a driver in Mumbai, who doesnt open the car door and spit freely onto the waiting Mumbai roads. And yes, here, economic status is no bar.. I have seen a driver of a Honda city spit with equal spontaneity as a BEST bus driver. And you know, what's the worst thing? Its the worst if you have to brave the rain in Mumbai..and if you have to walk through knee deep mucky water..you only hope that the Mumbai spitters have taken their season offs and you hope that they have some mercy on your feet and some sense of hygiene. But alas..sometimes habit overcomes personal or public hygiene! That is why I was delighted when I walked into a building in one of those old mills to find a message written on the staircase, "Any person found defacing or spitting in the premises of this building, will be penalised with a fine of Rs 50". By the look of the paan stains on the staircase, looks like there have been quite a few who have either paid the hefty fine or many who have mastered the art of deception!!

Love

Varsha

PS: Have you seen the almost exhuberant expressions that these guys have after a particularly heavy spritz?