Series of Letters to Shabbo:-Survival Guide to Mumbai.

8

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Train"ing You

Dear Shabbo,

What to tell you more about this metropolis? You need to be the master of masquerades and its better if you know how to "pliss adjest" yes that is how they say it here. And if you frequently use the train, to travel, then you will hear this term often enough. And unlike Delhi where you learn the art of elbowing thanks to all those pawing excercises that happens in the crowded DTC buses, Mumbai on the other hand, is where you learn how to protect your space, even if there is so little of it...you guard it with your very life, so you learn the not so subtle art of pushing and shoving. You practise it day in and day out..be it at a discotheque or in the local train.

Also Shabs, its important to be aware of your own limitations, if you cannot push and shove well, then maybe you shouldnt opt for the second class pass. In the locals ferrying the sea of humanity to and for, you will enocunter the true Mumbaiite (I prefer Mumbaites to Mumbaikars because Mumbaikars is a word coined by a political party to pump up some pride among the original citizens of Mumbai which in other words means not people like us) a true Mumbaiite is a judicious mixture of aggression, tact, humanity and unbridled selfish enthusiasm. Mumbai teaches you the delicate art of handling people and space in your particular order of importance. So never ever be pushy with a fisherwoman if you are travelling second class, because you might get whacked with a mighty fish like it happened to one of my friend's friends, and you actually will have quite a vivid memory of what happened.

And again be prepared to not have a silent journey in the slow trains, yeah and they are not called that because of the speed its because they halt at all the stations unlike the fast trains that dont. I know it sounds confusing but, trust me, practise makes a Mumbai commuter perfect. So once you travel enough and grasped how to fight your way and understand the meaning of a fourth seat you would have arrived in the true sense in Mumbai, till then you will just be fighting your way through women who look like they've just stepped in from a swanky salon, now how these women manage to look so calm and composed is one mystery I have yet to solve...is that the Mumbai spirit?..I dont know..going by the way I look after alighting from the 9:45pm Virar fast, Shabs, I dont think I have it yet! The Mumbai spirit..

I know most people have this constant grouse that Mumbaiites are obsessed with their trains, but trust me if you spend all your day wondering which train you missed or could catch at the end of the day, its the mainstay of a regular Mumbaiite's existence. And darling, in Mumbai its all about geography, I've heard of many friends who've given up on many prospective relationships because..well they just stayed too far.

Will write more about the city, soon enough.

Love

Varsha.

P.S:- There is plenty of entertainment in the local trains...lest you are not one of those who wants to put on their ipods and silence out the rest of the world.