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Yashodhara Lal

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On her new book 'Just Married, Please Excuse'

32 questions answered

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what is the new book about? Asked by: dileep
It’s the story of the early years of marriage between two opposites –a hot tempered Delhi girl and a laid back Jaipur lad - it’s a very lighthearted, funny take and it’s almost completely autobiographical! I'm told that people find the story laugh-out-loud funny but also very relatable to their own lives. That's because it's very real!
what is this book abt?? Asked by: swaty
Just answered this a couple of seconds back, Swaty :-) - check out www.justmarriedpleaseexcuse.com for details and sample chapters!
Have you planned your 2nd book? What it would be about? Asked by: Akshay
Akshay, my second book is already with my Chief Editor at this point. It's a piece of fiction, and it's the story of two divorcees. Hopefully it will be out next year. That's all I can say at this point, but it's quite different from the first book! It was more challenging to write, but I'm hoping people enjoy that too!
Is this book based on your real life? Asked by: Dhawan
I’d say about 80% real life, 15% exaggeration, 5% fiction! The real names of family members have been used, but the names of friends have been changed. Everyone's permission has been obtained! My family provides a lot of comic material and they've been great sports about the book, especially my husband Vijay.
Books like yours have always made great scripts for popular movies. Have you sold the rights to your book yet? Asked by: Dhawan
I wish! Fingers crossed that this happens someday – but as of now, it’s still very new in the market, so a lot of people haven’t even heard about it - it's just been two months since launch, after all. I do think it would make a nice, comic movie!
If and when your book 'Just Married, Please Excuse' is made into a movie, which bollywood stars would you want to play you and your husband? Asked by: Dhawan
Ha ha! Konkona to play me and Kunal Kapoor to play Vijay! Or Farhan Akhtar! Or Rahul Bose! But Kunal Kapoor suits the physical imagery best, being tall and lanky like my husband.
what is your time management secret? Give us tips. Asked by: tutu
No major tips as such – some very basic things. Decide what’s important – prioritize those things; and cut out the other activities that suck out your time. Sometimes it means taking a call to cut out important things – for example, I'm on a 6 month sabbatical in order to spend time with my family and focus on writing and other passions - perhaps my career will take a hit due to this, and we're certainly having to watch our expenses more now. But that’s a conscious decision. The other important thing is to lower your expectations from yourself! And be disciplined about whatever you decide. It's as simple as that. Not that I'm a major time management guru - I also feel overwhelmed sometimes; but less of late now that I've decided to slow it down and take a break.
It is often believed that urban English speaking women such as yourself look down upon rustic Hindi speaking men such as your husband. Did you not believe that you would get married into an equally westernized family as yours? Asked by: Dhawan
To answer your question – yes, I suppose I did believe that I would marry into an equally westernized family - not that I thought much about it. After all, I was only 23 when I got married! But your first statement does not apply at all; as a matter of fact, I respect my husband greatly for being one of the smartest, most loyal and sorted people I know – we both make fun of each other, but that’s not looking down on each other.
why did you start writing? Asked by: dhiman
Hi Dhiman! I always wanted to write - maybe because I always read a lot, even as a kid. I was on school and college editorial boards etc. All that was on hold when I got into the corporate world. I think it was blogging on www.yashodharalal.com for a few years that convinced me I should write a book - and some stern advice from my grandma to 'to have a talent like writing and not use it is a Sin Against God.' I wouldn't go that far, of course, but it's something that made me decide to get serious. Also, I had a difficult pregnancy in 2010 and realized life is pretty short so you might as well do what you've always dreamed of - right now!
Considering you're juggling a corporate career and three kids, how did you manage to take out time to write your first book and how often did you write? Asked by: Maryann
I wrote the first book while I was on maternity leave post July 2010, nursing my twins and while on bedrest recovering from two surgeries. I guess I was really determined at that point, and I finished the book in a mere 3 months! After that, when I went back to work, I tried to write my second book at nights - but it didn't work very well for me because it was draining taking care of 3 kids and a career. As of now, I'm on a sabbatical and I write in the mornings while my kids are at school, for just a short while every day - this works very well for me.
First, congratulations on being published. Hope you sell at least a million copies. Since I left India in the early nineties, Indian authors have really come into their own. I feel as though I’ve been missing out on reading some really great books. I feel there is a sizeable Indian market abroad and was wondering if Indian authors/publishers were doing anything to explore that market. Asked by: KayEm
Thank you very much KayEm. That's a very nice thing to say! I agree with you that there's a large market of NRIs - some authors have done a fantastic job of tapping into these, such as Ashok Banker. However, I'd say that it's perhaps still largely underleveraged. At this point, I know most publishers are at least very serious about getting into eBooks, including HarperCollins India for all their titles- so that's a definite start, isn't it? I think overall a bigger, concerted effort in this direction will definitely help, though.
Your name 'Yashnodhara' means 'renowned' or 'one who has achieved fame'. How does it feel to be a famous author with a best-selling book? Asked by: Dhawan
‘Yashodhara’ indeed means ‘maintenance of fame and glory’. Ha ha! I am hardly famous – a first time author with a book only two months old, that’s all. But I am loving the journey. The best part is that people say the book makes them laugh, and they see reflections of their own lives in it ! That definitely feels good.
You're highly educated, well-to-do, beautiful, have three babies and a tall husband. And now you are a successful novelist. What more could you possibly want in life? Asked by: Dhawan
Well, there's a compliment in there, so thank you! What more could I possibly want in life? Lots...to be a better mother, see my kids grow up happy and healthy and sorted, help my very deserving husband achieve his life ambitions and dreams, do more for people who are less fortunate. And achieve peace of mind on the way. So yes, lots, lots, Dhawan!
What would be your advice to budding authors? Asked by: Dhawan
Please, please just write – don’t give up on yourself too early. And don’t edit yourself. Go with the flow and worry about how it’s sounding much, much later. That’s the biggest blocker to actually writing a book – self-censorship and self-editing.
What do you feel about this trend of IIM graduates leaving management and becoming authors? Do you think this is like brain drain? Shouldn't the government impose a tax on such people especially given the subsidised fees at IIMs? Asked by: Dhawan
• I think people should be allowed to do exactly what they want to do in life. How is it a brain drain? Maybe they’ll add more value to the world as authors, make a bigger impact. And to clarify – the IIM fees are substantial for plenty of families – and unless you’re a big, big author which happens to very few people, you’re earning much less as an author than in the corporate world. So what kind of tax would make sense for someone who’s consciously choosing to earn much less doing what they love?!
Given the fact that you have been educated in top colleges, don't you think that you should be writing on more cerebral or serious subjects? Do you think you have succumbed to the ChetanBhagatesque style of masala fiction? Asked by: Dhawan
Ha ha. I have succumbed to nothing but to my own passion. I feel no need to explain any more to anyone! Isn’t that wonderful?
Most urban families today have 1 child. Some old fashioned folks have 2. You have 3. How does it feel? Asked by: Dhawan
It's true - 3 children is not a very common thing, is it? Well, I had twins so I hardly had a choice in the matter! We were planning for two, which I think is a great number. But I'm one of 3 kids myself and it feels great to have 3 kids, all under 5 years old in the house. It's a madhouse, a party, a circus and I wouldn't change it for the world.
With the increasing numbers of divorces happening in metropolitan India, people say, 'Chale to chand tak, naa chale to shaam tak'. What do you do on a regular basis to ensure that your marriage lasts 'chand tak'? Asked by: Dhawan
First of all, one has no way of predicting whether the marriage will last 'chand tak', although that's quite frankly the hope! What do we do on a regular basis? Simply recognize that we shouldn't take each other for granted; and consciously make the time for each other, even if it's just a few minutes on very busy days. Talking and connecting is important - and equally important, as I'm still learning - that when you don't get to talk and connect for various reasons - it's still okay as long as you understand each other. Also - learning to forgive, even when it's very difficult. That's important. Lastly - being able to laugh together, at each other...just to laugh and take things more lightly. That's perhaps the biggest!
Your husband is much older than you. Is there some sort of generational gap (besides the big city - small town gap)? Asked by: Dhawan
Definitely - he's seven years older. He does say very old-fashioned things sometimes. But as I've grown up with him over the last ten years, the gap seems less. Basically, I'm getting old, too!
How does it feel to be compared to Arundhati Roy and Jhumpa Lahiri just after one book? Asked by: Dhawan
Eh? I think you have me confused with someone else. No one in their right mind would make that comparison. And to the best of my knowledge, no one has yet! I'm interested to know where you got that one from, though. ha ha.
Congratulations on the wonderful book Yashodhara? So how has life changed after becoming a famous author? Asked by: Fern D'Souza
Thanks very much, Fern. But I'm hardly famous, and I don't think I'll ever think of myself as famous. I love having my book out there, and I'm very happy people are enjoying it. But that's it. No Fame and all, at least none that I've really noticed!
What is your advice to those who have a dream to write a book and be published one day? How to get themselves motivated.. What was the motivation behind you getting to write? Asked by: Prerna
I've answered this one, Prerna - hope you can find it - there are two questions that address this set of questions you've asked.
Regarding the movie question, you said that you would want Konkona to play your character and Kunal Kapoor to play your husband's. Konkona does not really match your physical imagery at all. Any alternatives? Secondly, the title in Hindi 'Abhi Shaadi Huyi hain - Hume Baksho' (ASHHHB) sounds too long. Any other title suggestions? Asked by: Dhawan
No alternatives that I can think of! Gul Panag? Not that she matches my 'physical imagery'...but actually, that's less important than how the character is played, right? Okay, this discussion is making me feel very self-important and silly so I'm going to stop now! ''Who will play me in the movie''...ha ha ha!
What has been your family members reactions towards the book. And specially of those who have been mentioned in there? Asked by: Prerna
They've been great sports...the only person who doesn't have a clue how popular a character she is with people is the poor old nanny, Kajal!
Yashodhara, you know which part i can love about the book. the chap which talks about when you are sick and Vijay takes 'care' of you. I always relate to that chapter because its happened to me and my boyfriend and i just want to thank you for such an amazing book. ANy clue on how i get my guy to read it? :P Asked by: Suzzane
Thanks so much, Suzzane. You know it's funny, but I've found that even men really like this book a lot once they get into it! You might want to have him read a review of the book by Firdaus on the 'Caterpillar Cafe' - or this one by another gentleman, Umashankar http://uspandey.com/2012/09/10/just-married-please-excuse-review/ - but hey, don't force him to read it if he's just not into it. Ha ha!
This isn't a question. I, for one, am glad you've written about ordinary, mainstream, middleclass Indians. It is as important to affirm and celebrate them as write about more serious issues. It gives a fully rounded picture of India. Looking forward to the two divorcees story. Asked by: KayEm
Thanks much, KayEm. Yes, it's the story of a very ordinary couple - I think that's why so many people say they see themselves in it! It's nice being able to see ordinary things through the lens of humour, I think. Real life is pretty interesting in its own way, isn't it? The two divorcees story is a lot more fictional than this one, but again, rather real and hopefully relatable and enjoyable in its own way.
You still haven't answered the question about what the title of the movie should be. 'Abhi Shaadi Huyi hain - Hume Baksho' sounds too long and even its acronym ASHHB doesn't sound catchy. What will be a good title of the movie based on your book? Asked by: Dhawan
Shaadi, aur Tumse? Kabhi Nahin! Ha ha. Why can't we just have the English Title? That's the trend these days. Oh hooo, we're back on the movie! Shush!
I want to ask you which author or who's writing style has influenced you the most? Asked by: Suzzane
I'm going to say Bill Bryson - because he takes the most mundane things that he encounters and presents them in a hilarious way. The second would be Gerald Durrell because of his wry humour and understated way of describing things.
Small town India is still very conservative about how they treat women. Do you think your husband will allow your daughters to go out with boys when they are in their teens? Asked by: Dhawan
Hey, my husband couldn't stop my daughter from doing it now! And she's only five! Ha ha, just kidding. On a serious note - he may have been a small town boy growing up, but it's not as if he's still of the same mentality - he's been working in the big cities for almost 18 years now, and hey, he's been married to ME for ten of them. He's protective of course. But not backward! Actually, he does get the shivers when he thinks about these things, but I'm sure he'll adapt to the ways of the younger generation ...it's a while away, isn't it, the dating thing? At least ,I hope so. Now you've got ME worried!
What are your views on an extra-marital affair? Asked by: Mallika
What could the answer to this possibly be? It shouldn't happen, but it does ; it causes a lot of pain, but it's human; it's easy to judge but it's pointless to do so. Most importantly - it's between the involved people to decide what's best for themselves and their families - and to make their own decisions.
What is one of the most challenging things you find being a writer? Asked by: Maryann
The most challenging thing I've found is to first get the story in some shape in your head; once that's in place and you're sufficiently motivated to start writing, I find it gets easier. Then of course, there are days when you just.don't.feel.like.writing. Some people say that you should write anyway - I have personally found that when I'm writing like that, I churn out substandard stuff. That's one reason I'm convinced at this point I could never be a full-time writer. Too much pressure!
Shaadi, aur Tumse? Kabhi Nahin! indeed sounds like a catchy title and I'm sure it'll be a big hit. Wish you all the best. Is there any way for your fans to get in touch with you? Asked by: Dhawan
Thank you very much. Yes, anyone who wants to get in touch with me can write to me at yashodhara dot lal at gmail dot com. I'm also on twitter with the handle @yashodharalal and blog fairly frequently at www.yashodharalal.com . The book website carries these details as well as a whole bunch of other stuff including reviews and extracts - that's at www.justmarriedpleaseexcuse.com. I'd love to hear from anyone who's got a point of view on the book ! Thanks a ton for all your great questions guys, it was fun talking to you.