'Aiyyaa': Sillyum, Boringum, Dumbum, Irrititatanum (5 cringe-worthy scenes)

Let's start with the good news. Rani Mukherjee looks great in a skimpy, black, sequined blouse. Her undulating stomach turns the heat up a notch in what is otherwise a loud and meandering comedy about a woman who falls in love with a complete stranger who smells heavenly.

She gets some well-timed laughs as the slightly cuckoo, Marathi girl who fantasizes about film stars, idolizes Sridevi and co-habits a derelict house with a family that should ideally be locked up. The music is fantastic and the 'Dreamum Wakeuppum' song really gets you going. 'Sava Dollar', 'Aga Bai' and 'What To Do' aren't bad either.

But the laughs soon dry up as you realize that there is no escaping the offensive shrillness of the characters, the lack of a cohesive story and the total silliness of 'Aiyyaa'. Here are 5 things that will leave you cringing.

It\'s not that \'Aiyyaa\' does not have fun sequences. But you will have to wait really long for them.

Warning: There's description of some heavy sniffing and inevitable spoilers. Please stop reading if you haven't seen 'Aiyyaa' yet and do not want us to give away the plot.

1:Actress Anita Date, who plays the role of a colleague and friend to Rani's Meenakshi Deshpande in the film launches a kamikaze assault on the senses straight from her introductory scene. If you thought the red boots and crimson hair extensions were a bit much, wait till you hear her talk. Every scene she appears in elicits a groan from the audience. Her whip-wielding sexual escapade could put people off sex forever. But she gets one or two good scenes (when she advises Meenakshi to marry Mr Dull and Dependable).

2:Jyoti Subhash's character had potential initially as the wheelchair steering wacky grandmother. The veteran Marathi actress is completely wasted in this film. She is made to shriek her dialogue and guffaw at jokes she cracks herself. One scene sticks, mostly because it makes you wish your grandmother isn't/wasn't anything this crazy. She wants to get inside the house of her prospective grandson-in-law but cannot manoeuvre her wheelchair. The holy hell she raises can shatter glass.

3:Amey Wagh as Meenakshi's brother gets two dramatic scenes in the film. In one he jives to a foot-tapping number while a seemingly orgasmic Maina (Anita Date) seduces him. The part-hilarious, part-cringe-worthy scene will either put you off sex or Lijjat Papad, whichever you like better. In the climax, a 'drunk' Wagh gets engaged to a girl he has met only an hour ago. To cut a long story short, the drunken climax scene is not one of his best.

4: Rani stalks Prithviraj throughout the film. But she goes completely over the edge as she picks up his used T-shirt and smells it. This is just the beginning of a series of sniffing sequences. We get it. He smells great, even after wakeful, sweaty nights at a factory. But is it absolutely necessary to sniff his hand towel?

5: The father of the family sits smoking four cigarettes from a holder and strewn in front of him are several old fashioned telephone sets. How original. Just when you think "I can see where this is going", the phones ring simultaneously.

It's not that 'Aiyyaa' does not have fun sequences. But the bizarre series of events leading up to them will test your patience.

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