Click to play videoThe 11 young men of Team India are bursting with talent and after winning the Twenty20 championship they are the darlings of the nation.
A place in Team India is what every young cricketer in the country aspires for. The competition is very tough and for every Dhoni, Pathan or Bhajji who makes it to the team countless cricketing dreams go bust every day. And many can’t cope up with the disappointment.
Subhash Dixit, 22, was a promising all-rounder from Kanpur. His first brush with fame came when he was named captain of India Under-15 team for the Asia Cup. Leading young Irfan Pathan, Parthiv Patel and other youngsters, Subhash won the cup.
Subhash was then made captain of the Uttar Pradesh Under-19 team and cricketers like RP Singh and Suresh Raina played under him. But then suddenly, around 2004, Subhash’s performance started dipping.
Runs stopped flowing from his bat, and typically no one in the cricket administration help him to recover form. Subhash had lost his way and by 2005 Kanpur’s rising star was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
On 9 June 2007, he walked up to the sixth floor of Krishna Tower in Kanpur for a view of the Green Park stadium. He dreamt of conquering the world from this stadium but that dream was failing. Subhash jumped to his death.
His family and friends still can’t believe that Subhash was so desperate. “We never knew he was so troubled and came to know of his death from a newspaper,” says Radha, the young sportsman’s sister at their home in Permat colony.
Cricketer Suresh Raina says Subhash was a thinking captain and a helpful person. “He had a cricketing brain and as a captain he analysed situations well. This is proven by his performance as captain of UP’s Under-19 team. He helped me a lot when I played under him,” says Raina.
Subhash was worried for his family. His parents were mentally challenged and he had hoped a career in cricket would improve their lives. “He has a friend in Uttaranchal who told us that Subhash was depressed and he feared that he would commit suicide,” says family friend Sameer Satsangi.
Friends and fellow players blame the Uttar Pradesh Cricket Association for Subhash's death. They say if Subhash’s life could have been saved if he was given support and guidance.
Turn to Lucknow
Subhash's tragedy has a similar ring in Lucknow. Manish Mishra, a talented left arm spinner, was a young cricketer 15 years ago. He played Under-16 and Under-19 for UP and attended an India Under-19 camp. He hoped to play for UP's senior team but then the opportunities dried up.
Manish, who wanted to conquer the world with his bowling, was stuck in a Class IV job in the Railways. He kept hoping that one day he would get a chance in cricket.
“Cricket was Manish’s life and identity. He took 36 wickets in three matches and he hoped the record would lead him to the Ranji Trophy championship. But he didn’t get what he expected from cricket. He was talented but couldn’t succeeded and this played on his mind,” says his uncle J K Mishra.
Gradually the frustration grew and even a promotion could not give Manish a reason to live. In August 2006 Manish hung himself. Tarun, Manish’s cousin and his teammate, wonders why the system that nurtures you turns its back when you need it most. “I must not say this as a sportsman but in cricket destiny matters a lot,” says Manish.
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