Masand's Verdict: One Two Three

JUVENILE ATTEMPT: One Two Three is the kind of film that will make you want your money back.

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Cast: Tusshar Kapoor, Sunil Shetty, Paresh Rawal, Sameera Reddy, Neetu Chandra

Direction: Ashwani Dhir

Let's assume you had the worst week of your life — you lost your job, you were mugged at gunpoint, and your wife ran off with your best friend. Understandably, you're looking for something to cheer you up, and considering the week you've just had, even an average comedy would make you smile.

One Two Three, this week's new Bollywood release from director Ashwani Dhir is not that film. It's not likely to uplift your spirits; in fact, I won't be surprised if it depresses you some more.

In the tradition of many recent brain-dead comedies, One Two Three is another one of those stupid films that has neither script nor plot to speak of, yet hopes you will ignore all of that and succumb to its juvenile attempts at making you laugh.

The film's about three guys with the same name who land up at the same place and get mistaken for one another, all of it ending up in much chaos. Laxmi Narayan No 1 is Tusshar Kapoor a wannabe gangster, Laxmi Narayan No 2 is Sunil Shetty a dim-witted office employee, and Laxmi Narayan No 3 is Paresh Rawal a bra-and-panties retailer.

All three show up in Pondicherry — or Pondy as they keep referring to it in the film — on different missions, but all hell breaks loose when one gets mixed up for the other. Sameera Reddy, Esha Deol and Neetu Chandra play the ladies who find themselves inadvertently involved with the three Laxmi Narayans.

Wait, there's more — Upen Patel and Tanisha Mukherjee are a young couple who chance upon a precious diamond that one of our Laxmi Narayans is here to seize. And if that wasn't enough already, there's also an assortment of underworld dons and henchmen who jump into the fray.

Borrowing gags from a wide range of sources — the Mr Bean series, to a bunch of similarly tacky B-grade comedies — One Two Three delivers pedestrian humour including cheap sex jokes, and silly one-liners every other minute.

There is so much talk of bra-sizes and ill-fitting underwear that it makes you want to gag the writer with his own pair. Apart from maybe three moments that genuinely make you giggle, the rest of this film is one bitter pill to swallow.

It doesn't help that the film's endlessly long and the actors frustratingly foolish. Surprisingly, it's the wooden-as-a-block Sunil Shetty who lucks out with the wittiest role in this film. The rest, including Paresh Rawal, are an absolute embarrassment.

Of course that's just one out of five and a thumbs down for Ashwani Dhir's One Two Three, it's the kind of film that'll make you want your ticket money back!

Rating: 1 / 5 (Poor)