Click to play videoCast: Salman Khan, Ali Larter, Satish Kaushik, Gulshan Grover
Direction: Willard Carroll
I've always wondered where Salman Khan got that weird American accent from and I've always wondered why directors don't insist he lose it when he's acting for the camera. But I think I may have got my answer this week. Perhaps that funny accent of his was part of the preparation for his career's most stupid role, the one he plays in the English-language film Marigold which releases this weekend.
The film, directed by American director Willard Carroll is a love story between a Bollywood choreographer and a B-grade Hollywood actress. It's one of those cheesy East-meets-West stories and there's really nothing to like about it.
Salman Khan plays Prem, a dance instructor on a movie set who falls for a spoilt rotten American starlet Marigold, played by Ali Larter, who shows up in Goa to star in a low-budget skin flick, only to discover the film's been called off.
Marigold has traveled all the way from Los Angeles and what's more her luggage is lost in transit. Before she can take the next flight back home, Prem arranges for her to play a small part in a Bollywood musical and Marigold decides to stay back and give it a shot even though she's the world's lousiest dancer.
Sometime in between those dance lessons, Prem and Marigold discover they're made for each other, and just when you think all's well that ends well, you're in for a bunch of stupid surprises in which old boyfriends show up, and real identities are revealed. Honestly, if ever there was a film that was devoid of any imagination or intelligence then this is the one.
Marigold is one of those embarrassing films that deserve to have stayed in the cans forever. I use the word "embarrassing" because it's got every single cliché that you'd associate with those bad romantic films of the eighties. Local boy with heart of gold falls for brash girl from big city. He draws out the sensitive side in her and promises her a happily ever after storybook ending.
But then comes parental opposition, even a love triangle thrown in for good measure, and yuck, believe it or not, there's also that typical scene in which a desperate father begs his son's girlfriend to vanish from his son's life because he has already chosen a wife for his son.
Now the truth is, even Satish Kaushik and Raj Kanwar have moved beyond this formula, which is why it comes as a rude shock, a slap on the face even that this film is going to be released internationally, and in English speaking markets where people will form their opinion on contemporary Indian cinema based on the rubbish they see in this film.
Marigold reinforces every stereotype about India and Indians that has ever existed. It's one of those shameful films that sell this exotic impression of India to the West.
Written by director Willard Carroll himself, it doesn't take a genius to point out that it is the film's third-rate script that is its biggest failing. Several international filmmakers have been inspired by Bollywood's song-and-dance format, even by its predictable plots and its heightened sense of drama.
Look at Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge, which is really such a fine tribute to the musical storytelling style of Bollywood films. But Marigold is no tribute to Bollywood, rather a mockery of one of the world's most popular filmmaking styles.
The problem is, the film tries to be clever and witty and spoofy when actually it is none of these things. Like Nagesh Kukunoor's Bollywood Calling if they'd used a tongue-in-cheek tone, I'd still have forgiven this film. But no, Marigold takes itself way too seriously, and the results are there for all to see.
The film's dialogue is so clunky, so verbose and so unfriendly, you want to throw your arms around the actors out of sympathy for even attempting to deliver those lines with a straight face. Nandana Sen who resembles a modern-day Medusa in this film, has what I think is easily the film's most ridiculous line. She says to Salman.
"The four of us cannot meet at the estimated time of arrival at happiness", and believe me Salman looks as puzzled as the rest of us. Or then that gibberish that Kiran Juneja says to Salman in one scene. Listen to this line, tell me if you understand - "Too much is about the individual these days, the individual is overrated."
It's lines like these that make you cringe in embarrassment because you cannot believe that not one person who read the finished script had the good sense to correct these bizarre lines.
What's really sad about Marigold actually is the fact that the problems don't end with the script. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's music is a sore disappointment, there's not one song on the soundtrack that's actually hummable. And Anil Mehta's cinematography is so flat, you cannot believe this is the same man who shot Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Lagaan so dramatically.
Of the film's cast, Gulshan Grover looking like he's just stepped off the set of Vidhu Vinod Chopra's Eklavya should thank his stars he has pretty much no lines to speak in this travesty of a film. American actress Ali Larter is stiff and uninspired and fails to make much of an impression. But it's Salman Khan you really want to smack for wasting both his time and ours participating in an idiotic film like this which only makes us look like idiots in front of millions. Salman, dear Salman, your ticket to Hollywood, this is sadly not.
At best this film is unintentionally funny because it's so way off the mark. Technically too, it's a tacky production complete with ridiculous motifs that are used as transitions between one scene and another.
I'm going with zero out of five and two thumbs down for Willard Carroll's Marigold, believe me it's a film so bad, it makes that mediocre Aishwarya Rai film Bride & Prejudice seem like Citizen Kane in comparison.
Rating: 0 / 5 thumbs down
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