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Trapped in marriage, gay seeks freedom
Published on Mon, Apr 10, 2006 at 07:30, Updated on Tue, Apr 11, 2006 at 11:03 in India section
Tags: The Third Sex, Jeet
Once condemned to silence and secrecy, India's homosexual and eunuch community is perhaps far more visible today than it ever was. Though this visibility has brought empowerment, it has also led to increased persecution, societal condemnation and abuse. Across India, gays are being forced into heterosexual marriages by unknowing or unrelenting families. What follows is a relationship of deceit and double life. In a special series, The Alternate Sexuality CNN-IBN does a reality check on sexuality choices and unconventional sexuality in India.
New Delhi: Humming beneath the humdrum of the daily life in the Capital is the frustration and hopelessness that haunts the homosexual community in India.
Most of them, faithless in forced marriages are living lives broken in half.
This is the story of an HIV positive gay boy Jeet, browbeaten by intense family pressure to get married, and his lover, Mandar, contemplating suicide.
A few months ago, Mandar met Jeet and fell in love with him. But Jeet, who had been diagnosed with the deadly virus refused to reciprocate to Mandar’s advances.
“The first time I got the HIV test results, I couldn't believe it was true. I laughed and laughed, like a mad man, but then when I calmed down I felt like I had lived my life and I had nothing left to live for,” Jeet says.
But Mandar, reeling under a forced heterosexual matrimony, did not give up.
He saw only one way of getting Jeet to own him – acquiring the HIV himself.
"He told me he would do anything to be with me. Now my family is pressurising me to get married since I have a younger brother to be married off, I can't take the pressure I want to take up a room where maybe Mandar can live with me," Jeet says.
Hence, Mandar forced Jeet to sleep with him and acquired the virus.
Unwinding during a rare few hours at a friend's house, Mandar is trying hard to escape his wife's questions. Trapped in a marriage he was forced into, this homosexual says he can't live a double life anymore and is filing for divorce.
"My wife, in the beginning I tried explaining things to her but she doesn't understand and we have nothing in common. I am never at home so she's always asking where I am. My whole life I have spent looking for love, but I've never found it. Even now, I love Jeet but I don't think he loves me, and I see myself committing suicide and being deeply unhappy before I die," Mandar says.
Mandar and Jeet might seem content enough spending some hours together on a rare day off from their regular jobs, escaping societal condemnation and indulging in their favourite pastimes - dancing at weddings and doubling up as waiters in local restaurants.
But Mandar, trapped in a marriage he did not want, is now facing rejection from the man he says he loves and gave his life for.
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