Aug 26, 2014 at 02:41pm IST

'Why don't you get a hair transplant? Kids will call you uncle': 10 things every bald man in India has to go through

A receding hairline in India means two things - the kids in your neighbourhood will start calling you uncle and your family will ask you to get a hair transplant. On the first appearance of a bald patch, you have very little options. You can either go completely bald and make a fashion statement or give in to those print ads and take an appointment with a doctor.

Why should a bald head be embarrassing? You can either be the badass Shaakal from Shaan or Walter White from Breaking Bad if you do not want to be compared to the director Rakesh Roshan. Everyone automatically assumes you're an uncle, though you wouldn't look a day older with the lack of hair even after a decade. There are certain things only bald people will understand.

‘Why don’t you get a hair transplant?’ From the moment they saw the first bald patch, your family has been after your life to get a hair transplant.

‘Who will get married to you?’ Everyone will try to tell you how no girl wants to marry a bald guy.

The kids playing in the neighbourhood will now call you uncle. You may have been Bhaiya until yesterday, but ever since they’ve seen you’re balding you’ve turned into their uncle.

‘How do you know where to stop while washing your face?’ Everyone you know has made that joke around you.

Your head is the first part of your body that deals with changing weather. Hailstorms, rain, scorching heat, your head takes on all kinds of weather.

One bald patch and shaving the head becomes the easiest style tip. You can instead invest in styling your beard!

Your friends will stereotype you as the comedian or the villain, but never a hero. You’re stereotyped as either a villain or the funny guy, but you’ll never be their hero!

No money is spent on shampoos and haircuts. You don’t need a comb in your back pocket and you don’t even remember the last time you needed hair care products.

You wake up in the morning and you don’t look messy. Unlike people who wake up looking disoriented in the morning, you wake up looking just the same.

No day is a bad hair day. Obviously.

‘Have you ever tried wearing a wig?’ Nobody likes to see you bald. They’ll always suggest how wig is a good option.

You’ve been compared to Prem Chopra, Shakaal and Rakesh Roshan. But you also know Jason Statham, and Patrick Stewart and you have nothing to complain about anymore.