Life As It Is

Junglistan General goes to war

editor@ibnlive.com — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:25:38 +0530

At Kallu Vasu's bar, the most popular in Junglistan, it was primetime - the period between 8 pm and midnight. The rooms were full, most had downed at least two

Lokpal? The joke is on you

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 09:59:26 +0530

A pandal came up outside Ittooppu's tea stall. The year-end came as a bonus for the goat - three days of debate in Parliament on Lokpal Bill, a law that

A park for Rs 685 crore, Junglistan outraged

editor@ibnlive.com — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:30:28 +0530

It's five in the evening and a full house at Ittooppu's tea shop. Office-goers, daily wage labourers, artisans, smalltime traders, all had gathered at the goat's eatery. That's where animals

The treasure, where's my share?

editor@ibnlive.com — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 02:34:31 +0530

"Parippu vada and chai for Paramu, puttu-kadala for Mayilamma," Ittooppu gave orders to his son, "Make it fast." He looked very happy and it showed in his steps.

Junglistan's Watergate

editor@ibnlive.com — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 02:45:02 +0530

Agent Vikram hid behind a door. He had heard some footsteps, and didn't want to blow his cover after coming this far. A few steps away from him is Junglistan

Janata Bar, entry restricted

editor@ibnlive.com — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 12:09:37 +0530

"Vodka with Limca," Sundari stated her preference. The cow, a college student, was throwing a party to celebrate her graduation. No, she didn't come first, she had barely scraped through.

Junglistan's Baba Fights Corruption

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 01:16:14 +0530

Right leg over his left shoulder, left leg over his right shoulder, right arm stretching all the way behind his back touching his left ears, left arm stretched the same

Amul Baby wows Junglistan

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 24 May 2011 10:54:17 +0530

'No credit, no politics.' The sign was placed prominently, just above the black board that listed the day's menu, at Ittooppu's tea stall. Ittooppu was forced to put the

Junglistan debates Gandhi

editor@ibnlive.com — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 09:44:35 +0530

"National disgrace," pronounced the Leader. The audience at Ittooppu's tea stall couldn't have agreed more. The mood among the citizens of Junglistan was glum. On the

A mother's heart

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 04:40:30 +0530

'Fsssssssssssssssssssss' That is the pressure cooker blowing. It's the first whistle. I have put the flame low, so I can spend a little more time by this window.

Terror in Junglistan

editor@ibnlive.com — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:55:03 +0530

An emergency meeting of the Cabinet Committee on Security is on inside Ittooppu's tea stall. Outside, a plasma screen is playing visuals of the blasts that took place moments ago.

Premier League Tamacha

editor@ibnlive.com — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:38:41 +0530

It's the latest craze in Junglistan. The Cricket Premier League -- a Twenty20 tournament that gives a Fifty50 chance to all teams. Anybody could win on a given day, a

Junglistan in Celebration

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:47:28 +0530

Ittooppu had prepared a new concoction for the occasion. The Junglistan cricket team had won a one-day tournament in Australia, a land beyond the seas where kangaroos hop mad, on

Lajja or shame

editor@ibnlive.com — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 06:22:08 +0530

My friends ask me why I don't write anymore. I don't know if they are asking out of anguish, or relief. They have woken up the writer in me, and

All in a day's work

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 09:49:46 +0530

One by one, editors trooped to the conference room. It was time for the morning news meeting at The Delhi Diary. The tabloid claims to be the city's most read

A sethu that divides

editor@ibnlive.com — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 01:15:46 +0530

Mukundan sat on a small rock, along a stream, surrounded by huge, green mountains, under a cloudy sky. Water flowed in a rhythm, each note easily distinguishable from the other,

Good Night Prime Minister

editor@ibnlive.com — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 09:36:17 +0530

The gathering at Ittooppu's teashop was a worried lot. The goat was down with fever, it was his daughter who was serving the famed Munnar tea to his loyal clientele,

Any jobs in CPM?

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 05:39:49 +0530

To Mr Prakash KaratGeneral SecretaryCommunist Party of India (Marxist) Comrade, First, let me congratulate you on building such a buzzing business wing of the CPM in Kerala. Within a few years, the Party has been able to diversify into fields as diverse as real estate and media. To say the least, the leadership in Kerala has been truly visionary. The Party is now probably the state's biggest business house and could soon be one of the largest in the country. That's where I would like to offer my services. I have even chalked out some models tailormade for exactly the kind of businesses your Party runs in God's Own Country. Comrade, the Munnar business model was awe-inspiring. Grab government land, construct buildings, run party offices on the ground floor, and run resorts on the upper storeys. I am sure you, and your friends in the CPI, got the idea from the builders of Delhi. But unfortunately, the business leadership was found wanting at some critical junctures. The entire business has turned out to be a huge PR disaster for the Party. It also doesn't help to have a chief minister whose mind and heart are steeped in ideals one could call fashionable for the Sixties and Seventies, but definitely not this century. It also doesn't help to have officers and bureaucrats who believe government land belongs to who else, the government! But as they say all is well that ends well. The chief minister has given up, and all that government land encroached upon by builders and the Party is theirs for keeping. But let me stress there is immense opportunity in this sector. To start with, we (please allow me the liberty, I already feel like a part of this big, booming business) should resume our encroachment operations. We could even bring in experts from the badlands of Uttar Pradesh, and consult Congress and BJP leaders in Delhi and Maharashtra, who have perfected this art. There is no time to be lost. After all, we have won only a term of five years, and the way things are turning out, we might not be re-elected the next time elections are held. Time is precious, we should make full use of it. Next we should seriously consider merging all our real estate businesses into one company (M&A is the buzzword now, and why should we be left behind), and then list it on the stock exchange. The most important principle of business, I am sure you are well aware of it, is to do business not with own money, but with public's money. I would like to bring to your notice the recent successful listings of DLF, HDIL and Sobha Developers in this regard. The interest rates are expected to fall sometime soon, and we should go for the kill. If you are worried about brand dilution, let me assure you the parent companies, the CPM and CPI, need not be merged. The business of politics is after all different from the politics of business. Coming to the Party's media business, I must say I am impressed. Its television network now reaches the US, Europe, and the Gulf. And it offers three channels. But it's the print business that worries me. The entire top brass at Desabhimani needs to be sacked. Just imagine, one of them took money, Rs 1,00,00,000 to be exact to the last zero, to help a chit fund company facing a probe. I am not faulting him for taking bribe, who doesn't do it? But look at his galls, admitting having taken money in public. He might have been sacked, but he has done irreparable damage to our image. Now, who will trust us and give us money? The daily also took Rs 2 crore from a lottery baron, against whom the CM was running a campaign. Look now what has happened. We have had to return the money, and also pay interest to show we are a bunch of honest blokes doing business. All this was entirely avoidable. Here is where a professional like me will come to picture. Talking about me, I stay in Sainik Farm, the largest illegal colony of Delhi, and perhaps India, which is now legalised. That's one good thing about this country, you encroach land, wait for some time and it becomes yours, legally. I have another house in a posh colony where there are some 10 air-conditioners, but my electricity bill never crosses Rs 2,000. There are others who pay for their electricity, and in doing so pay for mine too. Their honesty pays, for me. If these are not proof enough of my credentials, I am sending my resume with this mail. Please take a look. Lal Salaam RK RESUME RK R/O Sainik Farm Delhi Phone: 25 10 1917 (This isn't a coincidence) Experience: Owned and managed a fleet of 5 Redline buses in Delhi. Once the colours were changed to Blue, I quit. Nothing, but Red for me. (My experience will come handy while revamping the Kerala State Road Transport Corporation) Shareholder in Vaastu Properties, an infrastructure company dealing in flats, bungalows and jhuggi-jhopdis (Have some landholdings in Munnar, but no shares in Tata Tea) Stayed in the Gulf for some time. Arranged luxury cars for Bollywood stars (Benami trade, no questions asked, no tax paid) Languages Known: Hindi, English, Malayalam, Bengali (in the process of learning) Marital Status: Married (If you don't want me, you can appoint my wife. You would have done your bit for women's empowerment)

Chathan's dream, Amitabh's dream

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 08:11:53 +0530

Evenings at Chandran's toddy shop are busy. The air smells of fried fish, toddy and sweat, the clientele being farmers and dailywagers back from work. Almost all the cublicles are

A Cricket's Dilemma

editor@ibnlive.com — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 10:50:31 +0530

They had come from far and wide, from every nook and corner of the jungle. Tigers, elephants,porcupines, wolves, goats, antelopes, alligators, crocodiles, cobras, vipers, pythons, sparrows, parrots, crows, kites, all

Saddam, the hero

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 05:31:23 +0530

I woke up quite early, at about 5.30 am, just in time for the newspaper boy, about whom I have written earlier. He is my age, and has been delivering

Onam feast: Aranmula boat race

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 01:38:58 +0530

As the cab we were in veered around curves, one after another, on the road from Vellore to Kottayam, I was worried. My concerns had nothing to do with the

Cola war in Junglistan

editor@ibnlive.com — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 10:06:38 +0530

The teashop at Junglistan's main junction was busy. They were all there. Tigers, elephants, porcupines, wolves, cows, buffalos, goats, monkeys, antelopes, alligators, crocodiles, cobras, vipers, pythons, sparrows, parrots, crows, mynas,

In love with Lord Ayyappan

editor@ibnlive.com — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 07:23:16 +0530

Manikanthan's mind wavered a bit. In front of him stood a beautiful woman. With hair that touched the ground; in the wind that was blowing, it swayed like a

Red over tomatoes

editor@ibnlive.com — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 08:32:29 +0530

Shanta cleaned the rice and put it in a vessel to boil. Today she is preparing kanji for dinner. Not that they have anything different every night. Yesterday too they

Football jealousies

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 06:28:26 +0530

Get, set, go. Biju took off at the sound of the whistle. He raced ahead. In his head were a hundred things. If he wins, this would be

A prayer

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 23 May 2006 02:20:10 +0530

Dear God, My results are coming out tommorrow. Papa has promised me choclates and a trycycle if I get first rank. I don't know if I will

The magic of football

editor@ibnlive.com — Sun, 21 May 2006 02:44:38 +0530

"Wake up. Today is France versus Canada," Krishnan banged the doors of our house. It was two in the morning, and it was pitch dark. Krishnan and friends had a

Election in Junglistan

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 08:22:56 +0530

They had come from far and wide, from every nook and corner of the jungle, to hear the Tortoise speak. Tigers, elephants, porcupines, wolves, goats, antelopes, alligators, crocodiles, cobras, vipers,

Quota for middle class

editor@ibnlive.com — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 09:37:58 +0530

Last week, on Sunday morning, too early in the morning let me say, I went for a walk. This time I took a road from Mayur Vihar, the one that

Warrior Warrier

editor@ibnlive.com — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 12:25:49 +0530

Rahul is a Class XII student. He is a rebel. Perhaps all students at that age are rebels. I was one, chances are you were also one. Once in a